During the sermon last Sunday, my pastor mentioned the apostle Thomas in passing. It wasn't a major point of the sermon, but it stood out to me. Thomas, of course, was the apostle who doubted the resurrection of Jesus until he saw Christ up close. John 20:24-29:
Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed;blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
After the sermon, I started thinking about faith. We (by which I mean "I") tend to hear that passage and think ourselves blessed because, after all, we haven't seen Jesus in the flesh, and yet we believe. Good for us!
I wonder, though, if it really is that simple. As I examine my own "believing," I see a distressing pattern. I feel closest to God after I "see" Him. I see an answered prayer, whether mine or someone else's, and I praise God. I read the gospel in scripture, and I rejoice in my salvation. I sing songs to God, and my heart stirs up in praise.
What about all the other times? What about when I'm upset about something, or trying to solve a problem, or even doing nothing in particular? Am I really living like somebody who believes in God?
I think the story of Thomas, left unconsidered, can lure believers into a bit of a trap. We have not seen Jesus, but we believe He is real and that He did what the Bible recounts. As James 2:19 says, "Good! Even the demons believe that."
We (again, I) have to be careful not to let our unseeing belief be the mere accepting of a fact. We should not only acknowledge Jesus's existence and deeds, but respond. And who gave us a model for responding to Jesus? Thomas.
We need to cry out, "My Lord and my God!" when we're "seeing" Jesus and when we're not. This should not be difficult; Jesus left us not as orphans, but with the gift of the Holy Spirit. God is always with us. It's ridiculous that I am not in a constant state of closeness with God. Alas, the flesh remains corrupted, even though the heart is made alive.
As I reflect on this, though, I am not discouraged. Far from it, as I have seen the power of God working in me. How could I take the mere mention of Thomas and reach a new understanding of my relationship with God? Through His Spirit, and that alone. And that's what makes the story of Thomas so beautiful. God blesses us when we believe without seeing, but He still helps us do so.
We don't even have to see His wounds.
